Poor Canada.
Whenever President Trump or other Americans troll them about being ‘America Junior’ or becoming ‘the 51st state,’ they can’t help themselves but to respond so cringily (Is that a word? We’re making that a word) that everyone realizes that they deserve to be trolled.
Thus ensuring that the cycle will just continue forever.
We’re not sure exactly what set the Loonies off this time. Trump hasn’t openly mocked Justin Trudeau in a while, but maybe they were mad that Trump and J.D. Vance just tossed Volodomyr Zelenskyy out of the White House for being an impudent Lilliputian in the Oval Office. Or possibly they are upset that Trump may impose tariffs on Canada, and the only thing they can do about it is cry in their poutine or boo our national anthem.
Whatever it was that got their long johns in a bunch, they decided to launch a tactical strike back at America by … changing the name of a popular coffee order.
Canadian coffee shops changing name of Americano drink to ‘Canadiano’ to spite Trump, US tariffs: report https://t.co/cqrIXiD9P2
— Fox News (@FoxNews) March 1, 2025
A ‘Coffee Americano’ is made by taking espresso and diluting it with hot water. It is also sometimes referred to as a ‘long black.’
We’re not sure how to make a ‘Coffee Canadiano,’ but we imagine it involves adding maple syrup in some manner.
The Washington Post recently reported that Canadians, incensed by Trump’s statements and tariff policy, are now referring to Americano coffee drinks … as ‘Canadianos’
William Oliveira, the owner of Toronto-based Cafe Belém, told The Post that while he doesn’t want his coffee shop to be a ‘political place,’ he wanted to show support for his country.
‘It’s good for us to just, you know, stand up for being ourselves and reminding other people… that we’re not to be pushed around and bullied by others,’ he said.
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Oh, that’ll show everyone that you can’t be bullied. Changing the name of a coffee drink.
In fairness, we do have to acknowledge that Americans aren’t immune to this kind of pointless virtue-signaling. Remember ‘Freedom Fries’? Or a few years ago, to protest the Russia-Ukraine war, when bars would pour out bottles of Smirnoff and Stolichnaya vodka that they had already purchased?
That one was even more deserving of a facepalm since Smirnoff and Stolichnaya are not even made in Russia.
But at least Americans learn from our mistakes. Canada seems dead set on repeating them.
THATLL TEACH TRUMP https://t.co/zoETKfwU9m pic.twitter.com/zehAVzT5Q4
— Pedro aka Ishi-san
(@SilverMASAKI) March 1, 2025
Well this just makes me want to tell Trump to drop the tariffs
https://t.co/NSsHE7x2qz
— Diane B (@dmb1031) March 1, 2025
Yep. Game, set, and match.
How can Trump keep threatening to impose tariffs when Canucks won’t call a coffee drink by its internationally recognized name?
Ottawa coffee shop replaces ‘Americano’ with ‘Canadiano’ on its menu. pic.twitter.com/Sdsm2dJtJ7
— 6ixBuzzTV (@6ixbuzztv) February 20, 2025
They even changed their chalkboards. Their chalkboards!
That’s how we know how serious they are about this.
Even some supporters of Canada were embarrassed by the impotent gesture.
A coffee shop just tried to make me order a canadiano instead of an americano and honestly it was freedom fries level of cringe.
— Mid-Career Army Officer (@MidOfficer) January 1, 2025
Anyone go to the coffee shop and order a Canadiano today?
If you did, congratulations you’re an id1ot.— Ryan Gerritsen
(@ryangerritsen) February 20, 2025
Word is that Canada is also outlawing ‘American cheese’ on any sandwich and burger orders.
They might as well change the whole country to ‘Canadiano’ as their prime minister @JustinTrudeau is Cuban pic.twitter.com/xOUXuOFnnW
— Kelley
Lee (@KelleyT4570) March 1, 2025
Ahem. We’re not going to say that the resemblance between the two is striking.
But, whoo boy, the resemblance between the two is striking.
Putting America First has made these countries turn into petulant children. Canada puts tariffs on US products, but how dare we reciprocate. The keyword is reciprocal. If Canada’s is 0%, then so will be ours. pic.twitter.com/GhfbpMBVZO
— ND 1997 (@1997NikiD) March 1, 2025
It’s not all that difficult to figure out. Even frozen Canadian brains should be able to do the math here.
(We love the little dog in that political cartoon, though.)
Below is everything Canada is trying to do to the U.S. summed up in one image, ya?!!
— Brambles (@Brambles11) March 1, 2025
HAHAHAHAHA.
We love Spaceballs.
Canada fights like a girl. https://t.co/fKZ93Zt9EP
— SarahLee (@sarailola) March 1, 2025
OOF.
And not a girl like Ronda Rousey either. More like the Dylan Mulvaney type of ‘girl.’
This is appropriate action since it is the worst drink in any coffee shop. Thank you Canadians for admitting your country is the sh*tiest! https://t.co/0tUQl2bpOP
— J.D. Knight (@SellJDKnight) March 1, 2025
That’s the funniest part about this particular virtue signal. The name itself, ‘Coffee Americano,’ kind of started as an insult. American GIs serving in Italy during World War II would order water with their espresso to make it easier to drink.
Italians naming that order an ‘Americano’ wasn’t exactly meant as a compliment.
It’s kind of perfect that Canadians now want that watered-down drink to refer to their country.
..
How can you respect a country named after geese???
— Winston Churchill Smith God Emperor of theUniverse (@bob16066) March 1, 2025
LOL.
We can’t. At least the geese are fighters. They are probably ashamed of the country that is named after them.
Canada doesn’t have much to boast about these days, though, so maybe we should let them have this impuissant moment of ‘pride.’
Because we’re still never giving the Stanley Cup back to them.
Thirty-one years and counting, America’s Hat. Maybe when you become the 51st state, you can come and visit it.
